Category Archives: americas heartland

My summer vacation and other horror stories

Actually, my time in Oklahoma wasn’t a horror story until I found a tick on my tit. Being a city girl, I freaked the fuck out and ran screaming over to my son’s landlord, who lives next door, begging her to get it off of me. She took a pair of tweezers and jerked the little blood sucker off, then told me where they like to ‘hide’ on the human body, the warmest regions…use your imagination and I am sure you can figure out why I spent the next 36 hours refusing to get near my son’s dog or sit on his couch and kept getting naked and looking at various places on my body in a mirror.

I am slowly putting up photos on my DeviantArt account which, if you are bored to death and wish to peruse, you can see them there or as my Photo of the Day here on Nutjob.I did manage to spoil the shit out of his great little cocker spaniel named Charlie.

The weather was friggin horrendous, the temps in triple digits with the humidity and dewpoints off the fucking charts. Of course the day I left the temps went down into the 80’s and here at home they soared into the 105 degree range…evidently hell does follow me around the globe.

It’s so green in OK I was in awe. I didn’t take a lot of outdoor photos as the heat was insufferable damn it. Here in Cali, its nothing but brown or scorched and burnt, depending on where you live.

Strangers are friendly as all get-out, waving as you drive by or just being polite when you deal with them in stores or other common areas. Customer service is alive and well in the midwest, unlike Cali where all retail clerks act like they are doing you a favor helping you.

Since my son lives in the middle of no-friggin-where, on a dirt road with no name…needless to say I never ventured out alone as there was no way I would of found my way back to his house. Those dirt roads were awfully friggin narrow and my questions about how to pass an oncoming truck or farm vehicle were met with laughter. He also does not have more than six tv channels and internet was on his tiny-ass cell phone. I stayed up on baseball scores and that was the total sum of my internet usage whilst in the heartland.

My son did take me out and about however, so I got to see the beautiful countryside and meet his friends, all of whom were all very hospitable and quite talkative. My favorite photo that I took is my son holding a new-born calf that was rejected by her mom who gave birth to twins. He will help bottle-feed the calf until she is old enough to go back into the herd. The kid wants to go into ranching as a…cough…job, and although I believe he could do it..the chance to ‘move up’ is kinda slim don’t ya think? Plus, no benefits and feeding cattle three times a day in the snow during winter doesn’t sound too great either.

All in all, it was an interesting and informative trip. I still see all the lush green, and that tick, in my minds eye whilst sitting in the friggin heat here in the south end of the San Joaquin valley.

And I really miss my son..

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