Category Archives: Family Values MY ASS

Larry Craig is a CGR

Once again, our elected officials on the other side of the aisle are looking around embarrassingly while a republican gets caught with his pants down..or at the very least..tapping his foot like a mating call to the guy the next stall over.

Larry Craig is a CGR; Closeted Gay Republican.

It was announced Monday that he was busted earlier in June of this year, for soliciting sex in a public restroom in Minneapolis airport. It was Larry’s misfortune to hit on a cop that was patrolling the restroom because of repeated complaints about such activities. Larry took the plea bargain, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, which meant he didn’t have to plead guilty to the solicitation charge. So evidently Larry figures that means he didn’t do it. Larry Craig is going down fighting..oops, excuse the pun there, not intended..really, its not.

Right, and my momma can write the great American novel. In Larry’s world, never saying you did it aloud, means you didn’t do it period. In his press conference yesterday, ol’ Larry had this to say:

“I am not gay. I have never been gay.” He went on to say, “I believe I can still be an effective leader for our state,” and stated he would keep his plans to announce whether he will seek re-election next month.

Mr. Craig, wake the hell up and smell the coffee, or perhaps in your case the smelling salts. Mitt Romney dumped you like a fugly dude on blind date. He chastised your ass something fierce, to wit: “Mr. Romney first criticized Mr. Craig, who was also his Idaho chairman. “Once again, we’ve found people in Washington have not lived up to the level of respect and dignity that we would expect for somebody that gets elected to a position of high influence. Very disappointing. He’s no longer associated with my campaign, as you can imagine… I’m sorry to see that he has fallen short.”-and then, he promptly fired yo ass pal.

Mitt also invoked the name of Mark Foley..the last homophobe to get popped messing with individuals of the same sex…and dare I say…also a CGR, but I digress.

Now, the cow pie that Larry has stepped in is getting smeared all over the place. The upstanding Republicans in Senate are now calling for an investigation into Larry’s little flights of fancy that he takes when wandering around the men’s restroom at an airport outside of his district. If that’s not bad enough, CREW, an ethics group in DC filed a complaint with the Senate ethics committee seeking an investigation into whether Craig violated Senate rules by engaging in disorderly conduct.

It should be noted that Craig has faced rumors about his sexuality since the 1980s, but allegations that he has engaged in gay sex have never been substantiated. So, this isn’t a new allegation to ol’ Larry is it? But this time..he propositioned Johnny Law. Larry is basically calling the police report a lie and that his actions were ‘misconstrued’. Oh fuck me running..that is rich indeed! But I wasn’t born yesterday Larry so can the bullshit babe. From the police report:

Karsnia(the police officer) entered the bathroom at noon that day and about 13 minutes after taking a seat in a stall, he stated he could see “an older white male with grey hair standing outside my stall.”

The man, who lingered in front of the stall for two minutes, was later identified as Craig.

“I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, ‘fidget’ with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again. Craig would repeat this cycle for about two minutes,” the report states.

Craig then entered the stall next to Karsnia’s and placed his roller bag against the front of the stall door.

“My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall,” Karsnia stated in his report. “From my seated position, I could observe the shoes and ankles of Craig seated to the left of me.”

Craig was wearing dress pants with black dress shoes.

“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.-Larry has explained this as he has a ‘wide stance’. Right.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times, and Karsnia noted in his report that “I could … see Craig had a gold ring on his ring finger as his hand was on my side of the stall divider.”

According to the police report, Craig handed the plainclothes officer a U.S. Senate business card during an interview with police, and asked the officer, “What do you think about that?”-Which last time I checked can smack of an abuse of power.

The newspaper, The Idaho Statesman has been checking Larry out for quite some time. This E&P writeup gives you all you need to know about what they uncovered or suspected.

Larry’s voting record has all the earmarks of an elected CGR..meaning he votes against anything that will allow the gays to obtain status as first class citizens here in the good old US of A., as per the CGR rulebook I believe. In recent years, Craig’s voting record has earned him top ratings from social conservative groups such as the American Family Association, Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council- you know, the worldwide leaders of Theocratic bs in America.

Just a quick gander at his voting record on gay issues: Voted against gays being in the military, voted against gay unions, voting against legislation to ban employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, voted against expanding the federal hate crimes law to cover offenses motivated by anti-gay bias…just to name the headliners.

Yep, that is what the CGR’s do my dear reader..they say one thing and do another with vim and vigor! Sadly, they don’t have the brains God gave a dandelion to conduct their gay trysts in a secure location since they don’t want their CGR-ness to get out. He’s not on the Homeland Security committee is he? Man, I hope not.

A long and storied list of CGR’s is probably available online somewhere..It just has to be! Oh well, google at your leisure folks, I ain’t got the time. As you read this, I am traveling southward for 10 days to dog-sit for a well-off friend that has a pool, Jacuzzi, two wide screen plasma TV’s and a host of other benefits. I think will reside in the West wing this time around 🙂

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