Category Archives: Dear Old Fucking Dad

Irony, karma or payback?

Hello fall, glad you are back! I was tired of 90+ temps and humidity off the charts. It has been a miserable summer here in the San Joaquin Valley.

Now, the meaning of the post title. When I became an emancipated minor, my father refused to allow me to take my car when I moved out of the nightmare we called a home. I paid for the car, as I worked full time and attended college. I made the mistake of letting my father put the auto in his name so the insurance would be ‘cheaper’ for me to pay.

As a 17 year old, I paid rent to my parents and paid for all my personal needs. I carried a full load at college and worked full time. With both my parents alcoholic’s it was a horrible, violent, tense place to live so I left. They had the police drag me back time and time again…until I wised up and got a lawyer and became an emancipated minor.

This pissed my father off greatly as he was going to lose his 200 bucks a month I paid him in rent. He was and still is a spiteful mean sumbitch. He is now 80 years old and mentally out to lunch. Fast forward to the present…

His doctor has repeatably warned him not to drive over the last 9 months and, as I have noted in several past posts, my father refuses to play by the rules. He drives drunk constantly and also has memory lapses which leave him unaware of his surroundings or how he got there. The final straw for me and my younger sister was when he called her one night and told her he had no idea where he was, eventually we found out he was in Anaheim, a long friggin way from his home in Escondido..but I digress.

Two weeks ago, I filed an unsafe driver report with Cali’s Dept of Motor Vehicles. While I was in San Diego this past weekend, the hearing notice came for my father. It came to my sisters house, so I was the chosen one to serve this notice on my father.

His doctor will skewer him in the report DMV will request, I have no doubt about that and, I have laid out for the DMV, in writing, all the instances of unsafe driving and memory lapses behind the wheel of that huge SUV of his for the last year.

Dear old dad will not win this one I pray to Buddha…there are too many people who know about his alcohol problems and his falling into whats known as alcohol-induced dementia.

Laying in bed last night it occurred to me that I am the one that will be taking his car away, just like he did to me decades ago. I did not feel any remorse at the thought. I felt relief that I did what had to be done to save innocent strangers from being killed by this drunk, pathetic old man who refuses to listen to reason, who would rather drink booze than eat a morsel of food and who refuses to take his medications because they cost him money he would rather use to get drunk.

When I handed him the hearing notice two days aggo, he got angry, which was what I expected.

Just like I felt when he refused to allow me to take my car with me when I moved out of his house.

So, is it his karma, is it irony or is it selfish payback for me? My emotions are spinning out of control this morning as I can’t stop thinking about this. He has gotten out of so many drunk driving stops because he flashes that fucking law enforcement badge of his, but that retirement badge won’t do squat for him at the DMV on the 30th of this month. I hope he gives up driving after they yank his license, but like my father’s doctor, I doubt he will. I just hope to hell he gets pulled over before he kills someone, because the next time he gets lost and calls my sister who will then call 911, they won’t be able to take pity on a mentally deficit, former law enforcement officer…they will have to arrest him…won’t they?

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